38 years ago American poet Gil Scott-Heron claimed “the revolution will not be televised, not be televised, not be televised” but it appears the revolution has been broadcast on youtube for a period of nearly two years. Its appearance has surprised many top political analysts in Washington, who have marvelled at its lack of commercial sponsorship and ‘people on the street looking for a brighter day’. Yet for one year and nine months the revolution has not captured the public’s attention and barely raised 600 hits. Among its viewers, Kevdogg89 commented “this is gay” whilst Twinkletits added “lmao I’m so drunk right now” later revealing her bra size to be “32 Delicious”.
After the more popular success of a viral video depicting teenage boys sexy dancing to Justin Timberlake, the revolution was removed from the site altogether. Many have agreed that Timberlake’s proposal to ‘bring sexy back’ is a much ‘hotter’ revolution, and has better potential tie ins with corporate giants Macdonalds . A revolutionist, who did not wish to be named, commented that the American public wouldn’t recognise a revolution if it ‘trimmed their nostril hairs with a guillotine,” and added that they should “go ahead be gone with it.”
Investigative journalist Joseph Carter, who discovered the revolution whilst surfing for porn, commented “some of us have been waiting all our lives to see this, and it turns out…wait…have you seen this thing with the guys dancing like total dicks? This is brilliant!”
The new revolution is three minutes 52 seconds in length and does not mark the dawn of a new era.
December 12, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Dear Sir/Madam
Clearly, Mr Timberlake is claiming to bring sexy BACK, rather than creating a new consciousness which supports and nourishes a general condition of sexiness. What this means of course, is that we are dealing with a Renaissance, rather than a revolution. Please alter your entire article accordingly. Thank you.
Sincerely yours
The Reader
December 17, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Dear Reader,
Thank you for your comment. As an editor, I agree with you that Justin Timberlake’s song is more of a renaissance than a revolution. However this article was taken from Party in my Pants Magazine, who’s manifesto states it wishes to “redefine the meaning of words in relation to sex”and more specifically to prove that Timberlake’s sexiness is “so sexy its out of this world, therefore revolutionary”.
I hope this explains the confusion of terms, and I hope it will not hinder your interest in Justin Timberlake and sex.
yours insincerely,
Editor
January 4, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Dear Editor
Thank you for your recent missive that attempted to placate my justified concerns as to claims surrounding young Mr Timberlake.
I was wondering however – what is the basis of ‘Party in my Pants Magazine’s’ assertion that Timberlake’s sexiness is so sexy it is out of this world, therefore revolutionary? Surely the editors mean his sexiness is extraterrestrial, rather than revolutionary? Also, will the editors of Party in my Pants Magazine be suing for breach of copyright?
Yours, in the hope we can reclaim our beautiful language from fuzziness and obfuscation.
The Reader
January 7, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Dear Reader,
Thank you for your interminable contribution on this issue. To answer your raised concern I will refer you to the fortnightly magazine ‘We Surrender’ which states in several articles that “aliens will colonise this planet in the very near future’ and that they will ‘revolutionise our civilisation, and possibly let us have sex with them by touching hands.’ It is their belief, that ‘extraterrestrial’ and ‘revolutionary’ can go hand in, er, hand with each other and that people who think otherwise will be first against the wall after the invasion. For further information please refer to their article Guerillas from Mars
As for your copyright question, Party in my Pants magazine has unfortunately collapsed after the Pants went bust and split a seam, and therefore cannot afford lawyers.
I trust this will help to quiet the demons in your mind,
Editor
January 9, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Dear The Editor
Yes it does help, immensely. I should point out however that the voices in my head are not demons but members of The Pooka, Celtic animal spirits who admirably take command of most of my higher reasoning functions, in much the same manner as ‘The Numskulls’ of ‘Beezer’ fame. The Pooka have now convened at a very productive strategy meeting and seem to be working harmoniously and constructively on a ‘quieting’ strategy for the next few days*.
Having heard so much about sex, sexy and sexyness I am now very keen to try some of it out for myself, as it is now getting a little boring watching the wheelchairs trubdle past my window, and all the flowers in the ‘mood garden’ are a little withered. Do you have any suggestions as to how I might further my interest in these matters, without necessarily having to secure a day pass from largely unsympathetic authorities?
With fond regards
The Reader
*If you are at all interested in the administrative processes of Pooka-run psyches, I would be delighted to supply minutes from the last 363 meetings of the Joint Strategy Team ((JST) formerly Existential Geometric Operations (EGO)).